Below are ten sample wedding ceremonies.

The general format for a wedding includes the following:

• Arrival of wedding party
• Introduction by Officiant
• Vows
• Ring Presentation
• Pronouncement
• Departure of wedding party

Additional ceremony components may also be added, such as recognition of children or parents, sand ceremonies, handfasting, special readings, musical pieces, and many others.

Feel free to take any of these ceremonies and alter them to fit your specific tastes or situation. Think of the samples as a starting point or a source of inspiration. This is your wedding; make it yours!

All of the samples come from the Humanist Society and are used with permission.

Sample Wedding Ceremonies

 

Wedding Additions and Components

Sample Readings and Poetry

Sample Readings

1. Welcome to all of you who are gathered here today for Wendy and Lou?s wedding. Now you know, of course, why you are here. You?re all here because each one of you has touched their lives in some special way. They hold you, their family and friends, as a valued part of what they are as individuals, and what they will become as a married couple. Your presence here is a gift of support and caring, and they appreciate your sharing their very special moment. You?re here to be with Wendy and Lou as they enter a new phase in their lives.

2. The miracle of love is like the miracle of a flower, it thrives upon the sunshine of a smile…it entwines itself around the heart. Its roots are secured in the memories of yesterday and its petals breathe the promise of joy- filled tomorrows. To be loved is to know happiness and contentment. To give love is to know the joy of sharing oneself. It is through the miracle of love that we discover the fullness of life.

3. We are here today to join Betsy and Karl in a life of mutual commitment. It is fitting and appropriate that you, the family and friends of Betsy and Karl be here to witness and to participate in their union. John Donne in the 16th century said ?No man is an island?. He recognized it then, and we know it now. No man, no woman, is an island. No one?s life is created in a vacuum. Family and friends make for what the person is. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect which this couple bring to their life together had their roots in the love and friendship and guidance you, their friends and family, have given them. And this new relationship will continue to draw much of its beauty and meaning from the intimate associations of their past.

4. Marriage is the joining of two people-the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day…Marriage is love. May you always be blessed in your hearts with the wonder of this special day. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.

5. We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in marriage. This is an act as ancient as the history of the human race and as new as each new morning; for it speaks of the past and of the future, of the life of the individual and the existence of the community. Because marriage is concerned with the most fundamental of human relationships, it must not be regarded lightly. When you enter into this kind of relationship you?ll find that, although you cherish each other, esteem each other, and love each other, you must also be aware that all individuals have some infirmities and weaknesses, nobody is perfect, so you must comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and then you will live together as the heirs of life. Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but with devotion and discretion. With love and loyalty you will have the foundation of a happy and enduring home; and if the solemn vows you are about to make be kept with honor and integrity, your life will be full of peace and joy, and the home you are establishing will be one of warmth and understanding.

6. We are here this evening for a very special event in the lives of two very special people. Because of their commitment to family, because of their close and loving relationship to members of their families, because of their many friendships, this is a very special event also in the lives of all of you who are here today. You are here to witness and celebrate the marriage of Renee … and Paul …

7. We are here to witness a formal contract between two people who love each other; who need each other, and who wish to spend their lives with each other. Yes, we are here today to help join Barri and Joseph in the celebration of marriage.

8. Marcia and Paul have asked me to welcome you to their wedding and tell you how happy they are that you are here to share this special day with them. All of you, parents, family, and friends, have contributed in some way to bringing Paul and Marcia together. The parents, of course, who brought them into being, friends and family who shared their lives and experiences and contributed to their becoming the unique people that they are, and a few who were actually instrumental in introducing them and encouraging them in the early days of their friendship. If even one of you were not a part of their lives, they might never have met, or may not have recognized their potential as life partners when they did..

9. To those who appreciate the wonders of our universe and the joy of living, variety and excitement may seem reason enough to be alive. However, experience has demonstrated that a lonely existence is insufficient for achieving the happiness for which all human beings strive. We all tend to suffer from a feeling of emptiness and incompleteness when the rewards of life are not shared with others. This void creates a yearning for one person, who, above all others, satisfies our needs and makes our life most complete. The fulfillment of this desire is love.

Ultimately, this love is consummated by a marriage ceremony. In this way the new partners can announce to all others their need for one another, not only for the present, but for their entire lives.

Thus, we are gathered here today, to join in the celebration of marriage and to witness a formal contract between two people who love each other, who need each other, and who wish to spend their lives with each other.

10. When two people make a decision to join in marriage, it is a cause for celebration. It is also a time to reflect deeply about the commitment they are making. Akiko and Sebastian have thought about it, talked about it, and decided together that this is what they want to do with their lives.

Marriage is a serious contract between two people which can create great happiness and wonderful opportunities, but its success is entirely up to them.

11. My friends, we have gathered today in the midst of verdant spring, a time for new beginnings in relationships, as well as in nature. Yet while the first flowers of spring are gorgeous to behold, compellingly sweet to the senses, we know that it takes several seasons, much tender care and the weathering of many storms for the fruit of those perennial flowers to grow and ripen. Similarly, it takes time for love to mature and reach its rightful completion.
This spring wedding ought remind us that, like the seasons, human life — the life of the spirit and the emotions — moves in cycles. To be in loving relationship does not guarantee an eternal summer. To make a sincere and honest commitment does not promise an end to all struggle. What a good relationship does offer is opportunity for renewal. It recognizes the abiding, shared hope that after every winter, spring will come again.

In marriage we make a commitment to weather patiently the cold and bitter times, to protect and tend that original love-seed until it bursts into bloom again.

Sample Pronouncements

1. Since Shelly and Vicki have grown in knowledge and love of one another, and because they have agreed in their desire to go forward in life together, seeking an even richer, deepening relationship, and because they have pledged to meet sorrow and joy as one family, we rejoice to recognize them as husband and wife.

2. You have publicly promised your commitment to each other for all time. I call upon all gathered here to witness that according to the laws of the state of Ohio, you are now husband and wife.

3. Forasmuch as Bill and Carmen have thus pledged themselves to each other in the presence of this company, I do now, by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the state, pronounce that they are husband and wife.

4. Andy and Toni have consented together in marriage, declaring their love for one another, so according to the laws of the state of Ohio, they are now husband and wife.

5. May all that has gone before you and the commitment you have made today, now give you the promise of everlasting love. May you find strength to meet life’s adversities; reverence for that which is beautiful; and respect for all. In the presence of your family and friends, you have joined yourselves in marriage. I declare your marriage is valid and binding and rejoice to recognize you as husband and wife. You may kiss.

6. Stacy and Jeff have promised each other, publicly, in front of family and friends, that they want to be married. So they are!

7. Now, by your own actions and according to the laws of the state of Ohio, you are husband and wife. Congratulations to you both. You may kiss each other.

8. Friends and family, it gives me great pleasure to declare Gerry Porter and Heather Hazelwood Porter to be husband and wife. You may kiss.

9. As you have both accepted the vows of the other, you may now go forth and fulfill your vows with the same love and devotion which now blossoms between you. In accordance with the laws of the state of Ohio, you are now husband and wife.

10. And so now, according to the laws of the state of Ohio, and with the blessings of those around you, you are now husband and wife.

11. May all that has gone before you and the commitment you have made today, now give you the promise of everlasting love. May you find strength to meet life’s adversities; reverence for that which is beautiful; and respect for all. In the presence of your family and friends, you have joined yourselves in marriage. I declare your marriage is valid and binding under the laws of the state of Ohio, and I rejoice to recognize you as husband and wife.

Sample Ring Exchange

1. A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth, and of the universe. It is a symbol of wholeness, and perfection, and of peace. The rings you give and receive this day, then, are symbols of the circle of shared love into which you enter together as husband and wife. May these rings which you give and receive this day be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind each of you of the love you share on this day.

2. ?Shannon, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment.?

3. ?I give you this ring as token that I shall love you, in all times, in all places, and in all ways, forever.?

4. “With this ring, I marry you, and to you I will be true, as long as we both shall live.”

5. “With this ring I thee wed.”

6. “I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other.”

7. ?Frank, let this ring be a symbol of our love and the promises we made here today.?

8. Renee, Take this ring I give you, as a symbol and pledge of my constant faith and lasting love
With this ring, I marry you, and to you I will be true, as long as we both shall live.

9. Amy, if you accept my vow and commitment, allow me the privilege of placing this ring on your finger as a public symbol of our marriage.

10. Malcolm, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and as a symbol of our marriage.

11. Heather, will you accept this ring, shaped in the symbol of completeness and eternity, as a reminder of our love and commitment?

12. Amanda, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and that I have, I honor you.

13. Wedding rings are made precious by our wearing of them. Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together. Let these rings also be a sign that love has substance as well as soul, a present as well as a past, and that, despite its occasional sorrows, love is a circle of happiness, wonder, and delight.

14. The wedding ring is usually placed on the fourth finger of the left hand because traditionally it was believed that this finger was a direct connection to the heart – – the perfect place for a symbol representing eternal love and commitment.

Sample Vows

1. I, Paula, promise you, David, that I will be your wife from this day forward, to be faithful and honest in every way, to honor the faith and trust you place in me, to love and respect you in your successes and in your failures,to make you laugh and to be there when you cry, to care for you in sickness and in health, to softly kiss you when you are hurting, and to be your companion and your friend, on this journey that we make together.

2. I, Mike, take you, Sal, to be my wife, to love you, to cherish you, to help you and honor you, to give you comfort and understanding in whatever the future may bring, in confidence that together we are responsible for our destiny.

3. Today, I join my life to yours. From this day on, I will be your partner and companion, for you are my dearest love and my best friend.
I look forward to the joy we will find in each other?s separate successes, as well as our shared ones,
and welcome the challenge of whatever obstacles we encounter, for I know that whatever we face, we face it together.
Because your happiness is vital to me, I will help you to grow as an individual. I will also strive to be more fully myself because you deserve no less than the best of me. I pledge that I will listen to you when you speak encourage you in times of doubt, comfort you in times of sorrow, and be a refuge of strength for you in times of uncertainty. I will be faithful to you all of my days, will always be honest with you, and will cherish and adore you every moment of my life.

This is my solemn vow.

4. I, David, take you, Lisa, to be no other than yourself loving what I know of you trusting what I do not yet know with respect for your integrity and faith in your love for me through all our years and in all that life may bring us.

5. I, Debby, take you, Stephen, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, til death do us part. With my whole heart and with my earnest and complete devotion I give you my love.

6. I, Cecilia, do take you, Christopher,
To be the husband of my days
The friend of my life
We shall bear together
Whatever trouble and sorrow
Life may lay upon us And we shall share together
All the good and joyful things
Life may bring us With these words, I marry you
And bind my life to yours.

7. I, Heather, promise before family and friends, to commit my love to you, Jerry, I promise to speak truthfully and lovingly to you, to respect your individuality and encourage your fulfillment, to compassionately support you through good times and bad, and to do all that I can to nurture and strengthen the love between us, through all of life?s changes.

8. David, In you I have found a friend, a lover, a companion on life’s path.
You have become the single most important person in my life. With you I have experienced more happiness, more love and more freedom than I’ve ever known. To you I give my strength and my weakness
My beliefs, courage and my fears
To you I give my past and my future, My hopes and my dreams.
David, I promise to accept you without conditions, To love and cherish you, not only for this hour, but for all that may follow.
I love you.
As I stand before you now,
I pledge that these are my solemn intentions.

9. I, Blayne, take you, Paul, exactly as you are, to be my husband and my best friend. I love what I know of you. I trust what I do not yet know. I respect you and have faith in your love for me through all our years and in all that life may bring us. I offer you this ring as an emblem of my love.

10. Jim: Today, Annie, I accept you for who you are: the woman I love. For the honor of your hand in marriage, I vow to be your partner in life, to make you smile when you are sad, to lift you when you are down, to rejoice and share in both your trials and successes. Your path will be my path and I promise to walk not behind or in front, but next to you, together, to face whatever is before us. I vow to remain the man that you love. This ring is a promise that I will love you in all times, all places, in all ways, forever.

Annie: Jim, I take you to be my lawful wedded husband on this day and everyday here after. I will stand by your side at every crossroads to be your shoulder to lean on, your ear to talk to and the mirror for your smile when you are doubled-over laughing. I vow to be a part of the endless love that we see for each other. I will be there for every adversary you face and every joy you experience. This ring is a promise that I will love you in all times, all places, in all ways, forever.

11. Fern, today I take you to be no other than who you are, the woman I fell in love with,
and now you give me the honor of being able to call you my wife.
For that honor I promise to always be there to love you and make you smile, or to comfort and protect you.

And I promise, that no matter what lies in our path it will be our path, and I will stay the man you fell in love with.

I give you this ring as a token that I shall love you, in all times, in all places, and in all ways, forever.

12. Richard, Today I choose to make a deeper commitment to you.

It is my way of telling you that our experiences together have been so good that I want them to continue for the rest of my life.

I loved you before the ceremony and I love you more because of it. You are everything I ever hoped to find in a partner.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I give you this ring as a token that I shall love you, in all times, in all places, and in all ways, forever.

13. Steve: Today, I join my life to yours. From this day on, I will be your partner and companion, for you are my dearest love and my best friend.

Tanya: I look forward to the joy we will find in each other’s separate successes, as well as our shared ones, and welcome the challenge of whatever obstacles we encounter, for I know that whatever we face, we face it together.

Steve: Because your happiness is vital to me, I will help you to grow as an individual. I will also strive to be more fully myself because you deserve no less than the best of me.

Tanya: I pledge that I will listen to you when you speak, encourage you in times of doubt, comfort you in times of sorrow, and be a refuge of strength for you in times of uncertainty.

Steve: I will be faithful to you all of my days, will always be honest with you, and will cherish and adore you every moment of my life.

Both: This is my solemn vow.

14. Before our family and friends, without reservation of any kind I say to you, Joseph, I love you. I need you. I promise to unfailingly share and support your hopes and dreams and goals. I will be there for you always; when you falter I will catch you; when you are sad I will comfort you; when you laugh I will share your joy. I will grow old with you by my side. You are the joy in my life and the love in my heart. I commit myself to you today and for always. I promise to be faithful and true to you for the rest of my life.

15. Today is a culmination and a beginning.
It is the ceremonial confirmation of what my heart already knows:
That you are my one true love, my best friend, and the person I was meant to share my life with.
Together we have only begun to experience what love truly means.
Together we have only begun to live up to the ideal that is a life filled with love. In you I find my smile, my laugh, and my contentment.
In you I find a caring heart and compassionate mind. In you I find trust and togetherness.
In you I find a daily reminder of all that makes me feel alive.
With you by my side, my life unfolds before me in a panorama of happy days and contented nights.

16. From this day forward,
I pledge to live each day with your happiness as my guiding thought.
I will listen to your words, your actions, and your thoughts as tough they were my own because they are as much a part of me as they are you.
I pledge my unwavering trust and devotion no matter what the circumstance. I will support and encourage your dreams,
because your dreams are my dreams.
I will open my heart, mind and soul to you,
so that I may be ever worthy of the selfless love you give.
From this day forward, my life is yours.

17. Shannon, I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart away.
How could I trust a woman to love me, to give to me all that I wanted to give to her? When I met you, I realized how much we could share together.
Today I join my life with yours.
Shannon, our miracle, today, lies in the path we have chosen together. I enter this marriage with you knowing that the true magic of love
is not to avoid changes, but to navigate them successfully. Let us commit to the miracle of making each

Sample Endings

1. Shelly & Vicki, from this day forward your lives shall be woven of one design, and your perils and your joys shall not be known apart. As you increase in love and understanding, may your joys stand victoriously against the storm of circumstance that beats impartially on all our doors. From the rich encouragement of your affection, may you be inspired to open your doors to the needs you perceive in the world. In the embrace of mutual respect, may you each complete the unfinished pattern of your true selves. Let the passing of the days and the years deepen the love of your union and make it full of tenderness, and grace.

2. May the blessing that rest upon all who love, rest also upon you and fill you with all spiritual grace. May the bond that unites you ever be strengthened. May you so love and work together in the days that are to come that your lives shall be enriched and ennobled by a true and deepening comradeship of mind and heart.

3. We rejoice this day in the marriage of Bill and Carmen. We celebrate the love that brought them to this day. With love that deepens through many years, may they know its meaning and its mystery – how we become truly one in sharing ourselves with one another, and yet, remain truly two in our own uniqueness. May your house be a place of happiness for all who enter it, a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for growing, a place for music, a place for laughter. And when shadows and darkness fall within its rooms, may it still be a place of hope and strength for all who enter it, especially for those who may be entrusted to your care. May no person be alien to your compassion. May your larger family be the family of all humankind. And may those who are nearest to you and dearest to you constantly be enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for each other.

4. Alice and Jim, you have come to this celebration with an awareness that your marriage will have its rewards and its joys, as well as sorrows. Your lives will be intertwined with your children (names), and it would be unrealistic to assume that you will all always live in harmony. However, as you have already established a strong foundation for a family life, you will be able to meet future challenges with humor, understanding and compassion. May you, by example, help your children to grow into self-reliant adults, and in turn, may you learn from them, fully appreciating their youthfulness. .

5. And now, may the confidence, trust, and affection you have for each other on this day, sustain you as you go forth upon your journey of life together with its joy, its laughter, its sorrow and its pain. May you find together the loftiest that is in the universe. May you dwell together in peace, love and joy.

6. Andrea & Erik, in the presence family and friends, have pledged unto each other all that mind and heart can give. May they ever remain faithful to the vows taken this day. In serenity of spirit may they learn to face with courage and patience whatever afflictions may be visited upon them or those whom they love. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, may the love which they have for one another grow in meaning and strength until its beauty is made manifest in a common devotion to all that is compassionate and life-giving. Learning to serve on another in a partnership of love, may they learn to serve the highest ends of humanity itself, and thus become witnesses to the sacredness of life in the midst of each common day.

7. Diane and John, marriage is the joining of two people-the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day…Marriage is love. May you always be blessed in your hearts with the wonder of this special day. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.

Sample Poetry

Seascape
The sails of yesterday’s love are hidden by this evening’s fog, which forgets the light;
and only the warships are remembered. Yet sometimes I am searched out
for an instant
by that painful beacon: a smile once shared.

No Poems
I have no tears. A window opened, a light entered,
darkness moved into a corner. I have no tears.

I have no poems.

Jean Sibelius
Leave for a moment Bach’s heights, Mozart’s smile,
and the Romantic song. The oboe cries tears, Northern snows melt,
and sadness tastes so sweet.

Illusion
Perhaps there was a time
when fabrics, blue and green, unfurled;
when their shape was not pressed into polyhedrons; and I could watch their colors unbound,
except by the gentle ringlets of the days
curling about, and returning again to the starting place, dawn.
But those slim circles strung together cylindrically formed a tunnel
leading inevitably to now.

Art of Marriage
From The Art Of Marriage by William A Petersen
A good marriage must be created.
In the marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once each day, It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and objectives. It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each person can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right person It is being the right partner.

Song of the Open Road
Song of the Open Road (Walt Whitman)

Listen! I will be honest with you. I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but I offer rough new prizes.
These are the days that must happen to you: You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve. However sweet the laid-up stores.
However convenient the dwelling, You shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port, and however calm the waters, You shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you, You are permitted to receive it but a little while. Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road, Healthy, free, the world before you,
The long brown path before you leading wherever you choose. Say only to one another:
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money, I give you myself before preaching or law: Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

From ?The Prophet? (Khalil Gibran)
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love;
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soul, Fill each other?s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other?s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other?s shadow.

To Be One With Each Other
George Eliot (1819-1880)
What greater thing is there for two human souls
than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen
each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?

Native American Wedding Prayer
Minister reads first line, Guests respond with second.

Now you will feel no rain….
FOR EACH OF YOU WILL BE SHELTER TO THE OTHER

Now you will feel no cold….
FOR EACH OF YOU WILL BE WARMTH TO THE OTHER

Now there is no more loneliness…
FOR EACH OF YOU WILL BE COMPANION TO THE OTHER

Now you are two persons…
BUT THERE IS ONE LIFE BEFORE YOU

Go now to enter into the days of your togetherness
AND MAY YOUR DAYS BE GOOD AND LONG UPON THE EARTH.

READING that can be read alternately by bridesmaids or groomsmen
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you.
These are the hands that promise to love you today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children and help you hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
These are the hands that will forgive you for your mistakes and support you in your dreams.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

In his book, The Road Less Travelled, Scott Peck defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual act of will, a decision that we make to try to overcome our own laziness as human beings; a decision to fight our tendencies to take the easy path whenever we have the choice.

The principle form that the work of love takes is attention. To truly love, we must pay attention to ourselves and to others, we must strive to stay open to understanding what is needed, and most importantly, we then have to take the extra time and energy in order to make love turn from just a good idea into something active, something that is really happening. The essential part of loving is to do it; all by itself it is only a feeling that can easily float away without having the powerful effect that it can have if it is acted upon. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better, but if it isn’t the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised.

Although our feelings of love may have no limits, our capacity to be loving is only so large. Paul and Blayne have chosen each other as a focus effective in being able to further the other’s growth, and have discovered a lot of joy in the process as well. Their support for each other in that quest will give them a greater capacity to love both in and outside of their marriage.

In a book by Joan Walsh Anglund, called Love Is a Special Way of Feeling, she says: ?…Love… is the good way we feel when we talk to someone and they want to listen and don?t tell us to go away and be quiet…. Love is found in unexpected places. It is there in the quiet moment when we first discover a beautiful thing…when we watch a bird soar high against a pale blue sky…when we see a lovely flower that no one else has noticed …when we find a place that shelters us and is all our very own. Love starts in little ways… It may begin the day we first share our thoughts with someone else…or help someone who needs us…Or, sometimes, it begins because, even without words, we understand how someone feels. Love comes quietly…but you know when it is there, because suddenly….you are not alone any more…and there is no sadness inside you. Love is a happy feeling that stays inside your heart for the rest of your life.?

THE KEY TO LOVE
(Can be read alternately by groomsmen and bridesmaids)

The key to love is understanding…
The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word but those unspoken gestures.
The little things that say so much by themselves The key to love is forgiveness…
To accept each other’s faults and pardon mistakes without forgetting, but with remembering what you learn from them.
The key to love is sharing…
Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together; both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness.
The key to love is giving…
Without thought of return but with the hope of just a simple smile and by giving in but never giving up.
The key to love is respect…
Realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas; that you don?t belong to each other that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.
The key to love is inside us all…
It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients that will take you to its threshold;
it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work
…but the rewards are more than worth the effort…
And that is the key to love.

GETTING MARRIED
(can be read by one person or by alternating groomsmen or bridesmaids)

1. Getting married means you’ll have someone’s hand to hold even when you’re feeling sick, even when you’re old.
2. It means when you sit down to eat, someone will be there, so you won’t have to tell your day to an empty chair.
3. It means that you can have some kids just like mom and dad and play with them all afternoon except when they are bad.
4. It means that when you need some help, someone will help out, someone will always be near to you, so you won’t have to shout.
5. But best of all is when it’s time to turn out all the lights, you won’t have to be alone those long and scary nights.
6. So even though you don’t have toys, you don’t have to care. Once you’re married you can be each other’s teddy bear!

The following poem by E E Cummings can be prefaced by saying something about how bride and groom feel towards each other, or how marriage can be successful if this is how they continue to feel:

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

A SONG FOR MY DAUGHTER
(Can be read by mother or father)
Just once upon a yesterday, I held you in my arms
You grew into a little girl, with lovely childhood charms
Now it seems I only turned around, and I see you by his side
Oh, I cannot believe my eyes today, my daughter is a bride.
I guess somehow I always knew, this day would soon be here
Still I wonder as I look at you, what became of all the years
And no words would ever quite express, the way I feel inside
Oh, I can?t believe my eyes today, my daughter is a bride.
All the laughter and the teardrops, the sunshine and the rain
I would relive every moment, dear, if I could bring them all back again
But now, my love, the time has come, to send you on your way
So I wish you every happiness, and the blessings of this day
And I hope the love I?ve given you, will forever be your guide
Oh, I cannot believe my eyes today, my daughter is a bride.

Excerpt from I Ching
When two people are at one in their inmost hearts,
they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze. And when two people understand each other
in their inmost hearts,
their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.

Attributed to Kalidasa
Indian dramatist and poet. Greatest figure in classical Sanskrit literature.

Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence: The bliss of growth,
The glory of action, The splendor of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream, And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday A dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day.

Marriage is the union of by Nicholas Gordon
A greater sum than two in love.
Relatives are made by vows,
Relating endless fields and plows.
In bringing families together,
A million lives are changed forever.
Go then in joy, yourselves to please:
Each love shapes many destinies.

Sonnet (Arthur Davison Ficke)
Love is the simplest of all earthly things.
It needs no grandeur of celestial trust
In more than what it is, no holy wings;
It stands with honest feet in honest dust,
And is the body?s blossoming in clear air
Of trustfulness and joyance when alone
Two mortals pass beyond the hour?s despair
And claim that Paradise which is their own.
Amid a universe of sweat and blood,
Beyond the glooms of all the nations? hate,
Lovers, forgetful of the poisoned mood
Of the loud world, in secret ere too late
A gentle sacrament may celebrate
Before their private altar of the good.

Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love by Edmund O’Neill (b. 1929)
Marriage is a commitment to life,
the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth
that no other relationship can equal.
It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime. Within the circle of its love,
marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend,
confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.
And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble
the tender caring of a parent or child.
Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.
Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,
commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life
is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, new ways of expressing
a love that is deeper than life.
When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer than any spoken or written words.
Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

From, Gift from the Sea – by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, and of relationships, we leap at the flow of the tide, and resist in terror its ebb. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity, when the only continuity possible, in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom — in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. For relationships, too, must be like islands. We must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits — islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of the ebb and flow of intermittency.

On your wedding day, as you trade vows by Nicholas Gordon
On your wedding day, as you trade vows,
No ordinary moment hurries by.
You partake, as far as time allows,
Of something more than time and Earth and sky:
Unknowable, invisible, yet there;
Resplendent to the heart if not the face;
More than both of you, yet less than air;
A transcendental act conferring grace.
Reason might say, How can this be true?
Return then to the heart, for this is love.
In making vows, you make one out of two,
A mystery beyond what words can prove.
Go then as one flesh, one home, one heart:
Each still a whole, yet also now a part.

From ?Heritage? (Theodore Spencer)
What fills the heart of man
Is not that his life must fade,
But that out of his dark there can
A light like a rose be made,
That seeing a snow-flake fall
His heart is lifted up,
That hearing a meadow-lark call
For a moment he will stop
To rejoice in the musical air
To delight in the fertile earth
And the flourishing everywhere
Of spring and spring?s rebirth.
And never a woman or man
Walked through their quickening hours
But found for some brief span
An intervale of flowers,
Where love for a man or a woman
So captured the heart?s beat
That they and all things human
Danced on rapturous feet.

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love (Christopher Marlowe)
Come live with me and be my Love
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dales and fields,
Or woods or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
And see the shepherds feed their flocks
By shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies?
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroider?d all with leaves of myrtle.
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fur-lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of purest gold.
A belt of straw and ivy-buds
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my Love.
The shepherd swains shall dance and sing
For they delight each May morning;
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my Love.

Love-Song (Rainer Maria Rilke – translated by Louis Untermeyer)
How can I hinder or restrain my soul
So that it does not yearn for yours?
And how Can it be lured to life apart from you?
Gladly would I (had I complete control)
Transport it, a dark secret thing, to new
And untried depths of silence. But I know
How everything that stirs me, stirs you too;
How you and I are like a bow that?s bound,
Though with two strings, to give a single sound.
Upon what instrument have we been spanned?
And what strange player plays us, heart and hand?
O long, sweet song!

from Percy Bysshe Shelly, “Prometheus Unbound”
To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite;
To forgive wrongs darker than death or night;
To defy Power, which seems omnipotent;
To love, and bear; to hope till Hope creates
From its own wreck the thing it contemplates;
Neither to change, nor falter, nor repent;
This, like thy glory, Titan, is to be
Good, great and joyous, beautiful and free;
This is alone Life, Joy, Empire, and Victory.

Adapted from ?Prayer for This House? – Untermeyer/Quaile
May nothing evil cross this door,
And may ill fortune never pry
About these windows; may the roar
And rain go by.
By love made strong, the rafters will
Withstand the battering of the storm.
This hearth, though all the world grow chill
Will keep you warm.
Peace shall walk softly through these rooms,
Touching our lips with sweet wine,
Till every casual corner blooms Into a shrine.
With laughter drown the raucous shout
And, though these sheltering walls are thin,
May they be strong to keep hate out
And hold love in.

From ?The Good Morrow? (John Donne)
And now good morrow to our waking souls
Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone,
Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown;
Let us possess one world, each hath one, and is one.
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west?
Whatever dies was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none do slacken, none can die

Do I Believe? By Noel Coward
Do I believe in God?
Well, yes, I suppose, in a sort of way;
It?s really terribly hard to say.
I?m sure that there must be, of course,
Some kind of vital, motive force,
Some power that holds the winning cards
Behind life?s ambiguous facades,
But whether you think me odd or not
I can?t decide if it?s God or not.
I look at the changing sea and sky
And try to picture eternity.
I gaze at immensities of blue
And say to myself :It can?t be true
That somewhere up in that abstract sphere
Are all the people who once were here,
Attired in white and shapeless gowns
Sitting on clouds like eiderdowns
Plucking at harps and twanging lutes
With cherubim in their birthday suits,
Set in an ageless, timeless dream
Part of a formulated scheme
Formulated before the Flood
Before the amoeba left the mud
And, stranded upon a rocky shelf
Proceeded to subdivide itself.
I look at the changing sea and sky
And try to picture infinity;
I gaze at a multitude of stars
Envisaging the men on Mars,
Wondering if they too are torn
Between their sunset and their dawn
By dreadful night-engendered fears
Of what may lie beyond their years
And if they too, through thick and thin
Are dogged by consciousness of Sin.
Have they, to give them self-reliance,
A form of Martian Christian Science?
Or do they live in constant hope
Of dispensations from some Pope?
Are they pursued from womb to tomb
By hideous prophecies of doom?
Have they cathedral, church or chapel?
Are they concerned with Adam?s Apple?
Have they immortal souls like us
Or are they – – – less presumptuous?

Additional Readings

1. A wedding is a magic moment creating a unique partnership, but is also an illusion because it is the relationship itself that must be self-sustaining, it must be based on mutual love and respect, there must be an ongoing basis sharing the joys of everyday life together. Actually, it doesn’t matter if you have a big wedding or you elope; it doesn’t matter if the ceremony is performed by a minister, a rabbi, a priest, a judge or a humanist officiant, it doesn’t even matter if your family or friends are there or not. What matters is the commitment you make to each other. And you two have made that commitment already. Today’s ceremony is just the icing on the cake.

2. Marriage is the joining of two people?the union of two hearts. It lives in the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day?Marriage is love. Everyone here is wishing that you will always be blessed in your hearts with the wonder of this special day. That you will always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. That you will be blessed with a lifetime of happiness.

3. Shannon, Rabon, you are two individuals, with a past life and a strong sense of self. But today you are creating a new entity, a new union, a partnership. But in order to do that, you need not end that which made you what you are. You must retain your own separate and unique identities and personalities. You don?t want to lose any of that.

4.Real love in marriage is something beyond the warmth and the excitement and romance of being deeply in love. It is as much about the welfare and happiness of your marriage partner as about your own. But real love is not being absorbed in each other. Love makes burdens lighter because you divide them, it makes joys more intense because you share them. It makes you stronger so you can reach out and become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone.

5.The beautiful thing about love is that it’s an experience we share with the whole of mankind throughout the world. And yet, to everyone who falls in love, it is the most unique, precious thing in the world. A really happy marriage is founded on love. There is nothing in life that love cannot change. Love is, of its nature, unselfish, understanding and kind. True love, too, is a commitment of heart and mind. There can be no stronger bond to ensure a happy married life.

6. It was the great medieval philosopher, Thomas Aquinas, who, when asked to define true love, said that it was “To will the good of the other person”. If you truly love someone you want their success, their happiness, everything that is best for them. In the history of mankind, great lovers have died for the one or the ones they love.

Nothing like that is called for here but Allison and Jonathan do want you to know why they are getting married today. They see this ceremony today as a stronger commitment to their relationship. They call you together, their friends and family, to make this commitment clear to you and to call on your acknowledgment and support.

7. Tanya and Steven, you?ve waited a long time for this day. When you knew each other as children, did you ever think this was going to happen? Think about all the events in your lives that brought this day about. If anything had changed, if you hadn?t bumped into each other, if one of you hadn?t called that day, if the other hadn?t called back, if anything had been done differently, who knows, maybe you wouldn?t be here today, ready to enter into this important contract. But things did work out just right, didn?t they, and here you are, ready to get married.

8. Marriage is an act as ancient as the history of the human race and as new as each new morning, for it speaks of the past and of the future, of the life of the individual and the existence of the community. Because marriage is concerned with the most fundamental of human relationships, it must not be regarded lightly. Those who enter into this relationship shall cherish for each other a mutual esteem and love, bear each other’s infirmities and weaknesses, comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and live together as the heirs of life. Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but with devotion and discretion. Love and loyalty will avail as the foundation of a happy and enduring home; and if the solemn vows you are about to make be kept with honor and integrity, your life will be full of peace and joy, and the home you are establishing will be one of warmth and understanding. So, Are you ready to read your vows?

9. We have gathered today in the love of friendship and family to celebrate the blending together of these two lives. As Joseph and Heather come before you here today as two, they will leave this place as one, united in marriage. They have asked you here today to witness them as they enter into this union with an attitude of respect and deep commitment to each other.

Joseph and Heather, you realize that no other person or officiant can truly marry you. We just do the legal stuff. But only you can really marry yourselves. By your commitment to love each other, to work with all your hearts toward creating an atmosphere of care and respect, and by your willingness to face together the fears and uncertainty that underlie human life, you marry yourselves more surely than any document we will put our signature on today. Your love for one another and your willingness to accept each other’s strengths and frailties with understanding and consideration, is what will cement the foundation for a life together, a life that will flourish.

10. A vast unknown future stretches out before you. That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. It is a great tribute to your belief in each other that you are willing to face those uncertainties together. So our wish for you is that the pure, simple love with which you join hearts and hands today will never fail, but grow deeper and surer with every year you spend together.

11. A marriage contract is an agreement based on mutual love, understanding and cooperation. It should be a tie that bonds, but a bond that does not tie. A good marriage is one that joins together two individuals into one life, yet preserves the full identities of both. A successful marriage must be based upon mutual respect, kindness, consideration and understanding. Those are the components of what is really LOVE. And those feelings should grow through the years to further strengthen the marriage bond.

12. Take hands now and face one another?remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another?acquaintance, classmate, travel partner, friend, and companion ? you have gained much from one another in these last eight years. Yet, this is only the beginning. The words that you are about to speak will take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. You will continue to be many things to one another, yet after these vows, you will say to the world, ?This is my husband.? ?This is my wife.?

13. Now we?d like to ask Lindsey and Dan?s parents to stand up.

Wayne and Carol, you stood in a place such as this on June 1, 1968, and lit a wedding candle, while wondering in your hearts what would come of your life together. Part of that answer stands here now?in this man you call ?son.? I know the pride you take in him, and the love and respect you have for him, he also feels for you. No small part of the reason Lindsey chooses him for her husband is that a large part of you lives within him.

Richard and Carol, you also stood in a place like this on September 3,1965, and lit a wedding candle, and wondered in your hearts what would come of your future, your life together. You see part of that answer here now?in the woman you call ?daughter?. The pride you take in her, and the love and respect you have for her, she also feels for you. No small part of the reason Dan chooses her for his wife is that a large part of you lives within her.

And now, in your honor , in thanks for your part in their marriage, and to continue the tradition of marriage that you began, Lindsey and Dan will light their own candle. Dan and Lindsey light the candle, music plays
As this day you have made a new light together may you also continue to recognize that separateness from which your relationship has sprung. May the lights of your own special lives continue to feed the new flame of love which can make your future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, a future filled with warmth and love.

14. Bill, Stacy, Today is a day you will always remember-the greatest in anyone?s life. Little did you know six or so years ago, when you each started out the evening with someone else that you would meet the one person that?s right for you, that your lives would change dramatically. Now, you?re starting off this day just two people in love and you?re going to end it as husband and wife. It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey, with moments to cherish and treasure. And although there’ll be times when you both disagree, these will surely be outweighed by pleasure. You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past, when the secrets of marriage were spoken, but now you know that the answers lie hidden inside, where the bond of true loves lies unbroken. So live happy forever as lovers and friends, it’s the dawn of a new life for you, as you stand there together with love in your eyes from the moment you whisper “I do.” And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real, and success will find its way to your hearts. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all starts.

15. Sara and Jeremy, we know that you come from two great religious traditions which are neither contradictory nor antagonistic because their aims are the same – compassion, kindness, respect and a love of family.. However, marriage need not be a melting pot in which differences cease to exist, and as you become a married couple you bring together in a mysterious yet happy way, two pasts, differing in traditions. Build on them, for the strength of any people lies in spirituality, however this may be defined. And with the support and encouragement each of you can give to the other, you will be able to develop new personal dimensions, adding new memories and new hopes to those you are bringing into this union.

16. (Adapted from I Corinthians 13)
Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not too proud.
Love is not rude.
Love trusts in all situations,
Love hopes on all occasions,
Love endures through all circumstances.

17. Only your love for one another and your integrity to make your commitment real can do that. I offer the words of Author William A. Peterson, who I believe has captured the essence of that commitment. I hope you will keep his words upon your heart, and refer to them again.

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say, “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the Spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is BEING the right partner.

This is “The Art of Marriage”.

18. A modern author, Leland Foster Wood, compared married love with romantic love in this way: ?Married love is love woven into a pattern of living. It has in it the elements of understanding and of the passionate kindness of husband and wife toward each other. It is rich in the many-sided joys of life because each is more concerned with giving joy than with grasping it for himself. And joys are most truly experienced when they are most fully shared.?

19. There is no greater gift than the love that brings two people together. To behold this love flowering between two hearts is always a pleasure, and to behold the vows of lovers as they pledge their commitment, each to the other, is an august moment of the soul. It speaks of the great confidence by which people rely on and believe in one another, and the chance meeting of two life paths can lead to a permanent bond of love. It can take years to complete the blending of two people into one whole, into one life journey, and because people are different and unique such a blending is never easy. It takes constant experimentation and risk, a process of ebb and flow, until the thought of living without each other becomes more difficult than the task of living with each other.

20. A READING OF THANKS (revised Sheva Broket)

Today we are thankful for the joy and gladness in our lives, For mirth and exultation, for pleasure and delight,
For love and friendship, peace and peoplehood.

May we all witness the day when the sounds throughout the world Will be these sounds of happiness:

the voices of lovers, the sounds of feasting and singing and the song of peace.

21. To Be One With Each Other George Eliot (1819-1880) What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?

22. In a book by Joan Walsh Anglund, called Love Is a Special Way of Feeling, she says:

?…Love… is the good way we feel when we talk to someone and they want to listen and don?t tell us to go away and be quiet…. Love is found in unexpected places. It is there in the quiet moment when we first discover a beautiful thing…when we watch a bird soar high against a pale blue sky…when we see a lovely flower that no one else has noticed …when we find a place that shelters us and is all our very own. Love starts in little ways… It may begin the day we first share our thoughts with someone else…or help someone who needs us…Or, sometimes, it begins because, even without words, we understand how someone feels. Love comes quietly…but you know when it is there, because suddenly….you are not alone any more…and there is no sadness inside you. Love is a happy feeling that stays inside your heart for the rest of your life.?

23. May the sun of many days and years shine upon you.
May the love you have for one another grow and hold you close.
May your dreams come true, and when they don?t, may new dreams arise. And many years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say, ?Because of you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live?
because of you, I have become the person I longed to be.

24. Heather and Gerry, on this, the day of your marriage, the two of you stand together within the happy circle created by your love. The happiness you share will serve as a source of common energy, and from that energy you will find the strength to live your lives with conviction. You are partners in life, working together to bring out the best in each other, and each striving to be the most you can.

25. John, Stacy, Today is a day you will always remember-the greatest in anyone?s life. Little did you know six or so years ago, when you each started out the evening with someone else that you would meet the one person that?s right for you, that your lives would change dramatically. Now, you?re starting off this day just two people in love and you?re going to end it as husband and wife. It’s a brand new beginning, the start of a journey, with moments to cherish and treasure. And although there’ll be times when you both disagree, these will surely be outweighed by pleasure. You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past, when the secrets of marriage were spoken, but now you know that the answers lie hidden inside, where the bond of true loves lies unbroken. So live happy forever as lovers and friends, it’s the dawn of a new life for you, as you stand there together with love in your eyes from the moment you whisper “I do.” And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real, and success will find its way to your hearts. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all starts.

26. First, remember to honor your individual selves, to keep hold of the vision of your own destinies. This is what you have labored to create; your selves are you greatest treasure, which, in fact, you are here to share with one another. But while in the past you were able to remember and focus on your journey in a solitary context, now you must be yourself in conjunction with another, and keeping track of your destiny in the midst of a marriage is quite another matter. It?s harder. The thrills and demands of the union will distract and charm you and perhaps entice you off your path. But no matter how beautiful or captivating your marriage may be, your relationship as itself can never stand in the place of what you as individuals came here to accomplish.

Second, remember that your relationship, as itself, has a destiny, and that your marriage is a living, striving organism. It has a nature and attributes of its own that are distinct from, and larger and more intricate than, the characteristics of the individual it comprises. A relationship has its own mysterious sense of balance, its own timing, its unique choreography, its particular destination. It will carry you along with it to where it needs to go.

So be kind to your relationship. Treat it with respect and nourish it with the entertainments, diversions, purposes, mementos, and happy anticipations it needs.

And, finally, remember to remember to love. For it is love, after all, that has brought you to this place. Love is the inspiration, the magic, and the healing balm of any marriage. Love is what brought you together; love is what will keep you whole. Love will delight you. Love will give you joy. Love will give meaning to the pursuit of your destinies. For love is life?s highest destiny, its great purpose, and its finest work.

27. Blayne and Paul have asked me to welcome you to their wedding and tell you how happy they are that you are here to share this special day with them. All of you, parents, family, and friends, have contributed in some way to bringing Paul and Blayne together. The parents, of course, who brought them into being, friends and family who shared their lives and experiences and contributed to their becoming the unique people that they are, and a few who were actually instrumental in introducing them and encouraging them in the early days of their friendship. If even one of you were not a part of their lives, they might never have met, or may not have recognized their potential as life partners when they did.

28. Marie, Brody, you?ve shown your love for each other in so many ways. You?ve known each other for many years now, long enough to know that you were meant for each other. I can tell that you feel that your love can conquer all. And I think your friends and your family have seen how much you care for each other, and are happy for you. On this special day, it?s good that you have here with you your family – your parents, Carol Matheny and Roger and Cheryl Rauschenberger, your sisters, brothers, cousins, your many friends. Of course, a sad note on this otherwise joyous occasion is that your father, John Matheny, cannot be here also. Marie, your father would have been so proud of you, and so glad to see you find the happiness that he would have wanted for you. He?s no longer with us, but the rest of us are assembled here to provide living witness to this love that you share.

29. Real love in marriage is something beyond the warmth and the excitement and romance of being deeply in love. It is as much about the welfare and happiness of your marriage partner as about your own. But real love is not being absorbed in each other. Love makes burdens lighter because you divide them, it makes joys more intense because you share them. It makes you stronger so you can reach out and become involved with life in ways you dared not risk alone.